Freak Rant

 

I was abducted once when I was eight years old. They came to teach me how to fight like an alien. Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare into the enemys eyes. Bring up your hands and say “I don’t want no trouble ya hear”. Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees. Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say “wolowolowolowolowolo” slowly increasing in volume, he should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphicter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and will appear visibly shaken. Begin to piss and shat yourself and let your eyes roll into the back of your head. By now you are chanting “WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO” at the top of your lungs. He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying precence within their soul. Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.

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~ by 土龍 drigruan on November 17, 2012.

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